I've been ill since mid-July, I think it was.

Remember that doctor's appointment I was going to? Yes? (Okay, most likely not because you're probably reading this post prior to the previous one.)

I wanted to avoid a referral to the Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAHMS) and go to a particular place; I've hear CAMHS aren't so good.

I lost my nerve before that part.

I got asked ridiculous questions like "Are you good with computers?" and completely missed a joke again, except this time I didn't even realise until afterwards when my mother told me.

There was also "Do you have any friends?" (apparently, I don't talk to my friends enough for me to fail this) and   "Do you not understand what people are saying, or just can't express yourself?" with "Can you read the reactions of other people?".

I even got "Do you prefer talking on Facebook or face-to-face?" I so very nearly replied "I use other methods, such as instant messaging." As I opened my mouth to say this, I realised she actually meant "Do you prefer talking to people by electronic communication from a distance, or face-to-face?"

I told her I preferred talking to people on Facebook.

I also got a referral for a blood test. Testing for a variety of things, such as anaemia, glandular fever, diabetes, liver dysfunction and more.

I won't hear from CAMHS for months and the blood test results won't come through until Monday or Tuesday.

I'm not sure I like the updated interface so much.

The oddest things come out of infections. (Sorry about the disjointed text.)

I now have an an ear infection. I've had it for a few weeks but I thought it had to be really bad to go to the doctors about, also I wasn't sure if it was an infection or a spot. Turns out, it was an infection and now I have a perforated ear drum, and I'm taking the dose which is suggested for 'severe cases'.

It hurt massively in the middle of the night, and then at approximately 7:45 it popped and I could hear again. It hurt, but then the pain dulled a little (or, maybe the ibruprofen had kicked in) and there was even more swishing in my ear as well as some more dark liquid coming out. Fetching, no?

I woke up late (not something I do often) and then I had a half day because it was open evening, yesterday. So, I had to skip breakfast. As I finished early I didn't have lunch at school, but the doctor's new system - with the absent doctor - meant that they'd call me later, which turned out to be 3:30 as finally got to purchase my lunch. I got an appointment at 5:30 and seen at 6:00.

In the meantime, I was dragged around the high street. We got new folders for school, some book covers for my brother, new converse, food shopping and to the butchers amid a variety of other things before we finally went to my grandmothers and I got to sit around for a bit.

Apparently 87% of people come to the surgery with stupid complaints like "Can you check my children over to make sure they won't get a cold when they go back to school." and "I drunk a lot of alcohol last night and now I feel sick, what's wrong with me." and that's what they mean by not coming unless it's bad. Although, the triage nurse (our surgery now has a system with them in to save the doctors' time, some people have an issue with this but as long as I get my antibiotics, I don't really care.) said that it's usually people like myself and old women who've had a chest infection for six weeks who don't turn up.

Also, I've got an appoinment in three weeks (I was offered one in two weeks time, when their patient load goes down because one of their staff is back from her holiday but I have school.) to see a doctor about getting referred for AS. The nurse thinks her husband has it, but she also said that AS is the sort of thing which people still become high flyers with and that only family and close friends notice. She also thinks that 80% of the population has it.

Still, I got my referral to a doctor. She didn't even read my entire bulletpointed list, so it's probably a good thing that I didn't take the six page version.

I counted out the weeks on my fingers, to see if I had a class at the time the appointment was at (we have a two week timetable).

The triage nurse commented "You're counting! You don't have Asperger's."

To which I replied "Yes, I do count… I'm very bad at maths."

"So am I."

I then realised she was joking. Ooops.

Way to hit a stereotype.

I managed to refrain from talking about Asperger's/Autism, primarily because I'm not a fan of speaking to new people but also because I realise that correcting someone who is well trained is not the best way to get what I want (a referral).

I would be on a school trip, but my mother thinks I'm too ill. It was team bonding. I'm not sure whether I should be glad I'm not being forced to mingle and have people touch me or disapointed because I'd been waiting for this opportunity to do the activites for a few years. So, I'm writing a blog and if, it makes my ear infection go away faster (from resting) I'll be pleased.

Still nervous about the appointment. The appointment will be approximately a year after I first started suspecting I have AS. In the correct month, too.

I feel slightly sick. That's a common side effect of the antibiotics, though so it might have nothing too do with my nerves.

A Welcome Note

I first joined blogger in 2007 because I could, I later used it to watch a classmate's photography blog once or twice.

I've meant to keep a blog on here for various reasons, for expression of thought, mostly but what I wanted to express has varied over time. I've opened blogs and closed them without making entries and I've contemplated writing entries but not really been sure what I was writing was good enough, or unsure of how to say what I want to say.

I have another blog on a different platform for different uses but as I gain more followers who are there from fandom - though not for my fanart in almost all cases - I feel less comfortable with expressing myself.

This blog may not show my worst days, because I rarely write on those and it may not always be happy. It may be seemingly random, irrelevent, triggery or otherwise an information 'overshare'.

I am currently in the process of going to the doctors to get a referal. Something I want, but am terrified of doing. So I call myself lazy.

In truth, I do not know what lies ahead of me, I do not want to speak to people and I'm scared. I hope to go to the doctors, soon, though.

This blog will probably detail my journey through life; diagnostic, school and otherwise.